Love wins.

Dear Violet, 

I'm struggling to find the words today on such a historic, momentous day. Today was the day of a 5-4 Supreme Court decision in favor of marriage rights for all. I am grateful that I lived to see the day when we're one step closer to equal rights for everyone.  I sat in the car listening to NPR reporting on the decision, and I heard President Obama's words about a slightly more perfect union. My Facebook feed is full of love and rainbows, the most beautiful kind. In the car, I teared up thinking about how important the day is and what it means for the future. The world is a little bit more peaceful, a little bit kinder for now. 

But mostly, I think of you, my beautiful baby girl. 

Violet, you will grow up in a country where people can now marry the people they love. You will never remember a time when that wasn't the case, and I'm so happy for that. You won't remember the struggle for marriage rights or how many states allowed it or didn't. You won't remember a time where people lived in states as married couples only to know the next state over didn't recognize their marriage. You won't remember when people weren't allowed to visit their loved ones in hospitals. You won't really know the injustice many people faced within the system, and you may not know the people who fought for marriage equality.

Maybe you will read about this day, June 26th, 2015 in your history book. You will take marriage equality for granted, and in some ways, that is the way it should be, as it will just be part of your world growing up. But try to respect the path to the rights we and all people are afforded today. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness should be available for all people. 

And always remember that this doesn't mean that the fight for civil rights is over. Discrimination and injustice is real, and it happens every day. Remember to treat all people with respect, dignity, and kindness. Fight for what is right because change can be realized, even after decades of fighting. 

And mostly, for you, love who you love. I hope that you find a deep and real, lasting love with someone. You are now free, my beautiful girl, to marry whomever you want and whomever you choose. Today we celebrate that. 

Love wins. 

The Kindness of Others

Since this is a blog entitled something about kindness, I thought it would be fitting to write about kindness once in a while. I can't think of anything better to write about than the kindness Tom and I experienced after having Violet. The comfort, the food, the hugs, the laughter, the tears...when I think back to when she was born, everything is sort of neatly packaged in a blanket of kindness that others bestowed upon us. (Plus this amazing little baby who has changed our lives forever.)

First and foremost, my mom. She came over right when Violet was born and intended to stay for a week to help out. But after she asked me if I was ready for her to leave, with tears streaming down my face, I shook my head no - she stayed for another whole week to make sure that I was fed and drank enough water/tea. I seriously don't think I would have eaten anything at all for the first two weeks if she hadn't been there. While I struggled with recovering from a c-section and struggled more with breastfeeding, everything seemed better when your mom makes you a cup of tea. I'm so very grateful she was there for me during this time, so that I could focus on taking care of this new little human that demanded my attention 100% of the time. Tom's mom also came over and helped out immensely by bringing food and watching Violet so I could catch a cat nap once in a while. My sister came over to help out and cleaned the bathroom for me! 

Gramma Jane and Violet

Also, there was everyone else. Nicki came over with arms full of stuff like nursing bras and casseroles, and suggestions and helpful hints about nursing and other stuff. She and Mina both helped me sustain Violet for the first few months of her life, and I'm forever grateful. There were lots of other visits and support from afar that meant so much, whether it was a text, Facetime, or a phone call. It was a weird time - so joyful and yet so hard. I knew how lucky we were to have Violet, and I struggled to be grateful in between the lack of sleep and the overtired tears. I was lucky to have the support that I needed to get past few the first few weeks.

And not to mention, this little nugget. People say they can't imagine their lives before kids, and now I know how true that is. Every piece of it is worth it. For that laughter when you tickle her belly, for the full-face smile that you get when you smile at her. There's really nothing like it. It sounds sappy, but it's true.

This little bugger is now 8 months old!

Side note: I'm not sure when it happened that we're not supposed to space twice after periods, but I'm having a really hard time with it. I just had to go through and delete spaces throughout this entire blog entry. I'm not sure, but I think this makes me old and incompatible with change.

Blogging 2.0

The last post I wrote on here was about the earthquake in DC, which was like  4 years ago. I'm not sure why I stopped blogging exactly, well, I do know that I didn't really like the title of this blog after a while so I tried starting a couple of other blogs and assumed that this one would just fade away into internet anonymity.  But here it was the whole time.  The Little Kindness....What does that even mean? I honestly don't remember anymore. Oh.  I just re-read my first blog post. So that's what I meant. 

Anyway, I recently got invited to guest blog for a friend of mine, and here was my old blog, like an old friend I haven't seen in a long time. As I read through some of my old entries, I suddenly remembered what life used to be like. 

In the last 4 years, we had a baby girl named Violet, and we moved back to Michigan. We both got new jobs, and we bought a house in East Lansing. If I've learned anything at all, it's that life changes a whole lot when you have a baby. So I figure it's time to update my life goals from this blog post. Here goes nothing. 

#1.  Get a raise.  Sort of accomplished this. Can I take a nap now?

#2.  Move to Asia.    Shower regularly.  I kid, I kid.  Kind of.     

#3.  Raise funds for Asia. diapers. 

#4.  Become a morning person.  Check.  One of the benefits of having a baby. 

#5.  Lose 5 pounds.  Mm, maybe 10.  This sounds familiar.

#6.  Read more books. YES!

#7.  Become a photographer. better friend.

#8.  Become a professional blogger.  Still trying...

#9.  Make crafts every day.  once a year. 

#10.  Adopt some babies.  Sure, why not?    

#11.  Be on the special “I bring gifts for you” list.  You gotta have goals. 

#12.  Get a PhD.  Oddly enough, I just said this the other day. 

#13.  Look older so people stop asking me, “Are you a student?” Hm, this doesn't happen anymore.

#14.  Get a medical/law degree.  Either way is fine.  more sleep.

#15.  Move to the countryside.  Well, we moved to Michigan. Then move back to the city.  Someday. 

#16.  Become famous.  a better person.